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Aww, my heart is happy! At the end of our Hope Held by a Horse program, they invited us to write a note to ourselves — reminding us what we learned, how we grew, how we felt. I received my note today.

I talked about how I worked with Lola, how she taught me about boundaries, that I’m a whole person without the presence or approval of others, and that even if someone does something hurtful, I’m responsible for my feelings – no one can make me feel a certain way. And that someone being with me doesn’t determine my¬†value. I’m pretty awesome on my own, and when I see that, I attract what I need.

I also cut the “energy cord” with a toxic family member. I was reminded how Lola didn’t want me to care for and groom her … she wanted me to step back and be cared for. She was best when I stood in front of her and was “up front.” She didn’t like it when I went behind her. I could relate to that! Since Lindsey’s murder, I have been hyper-sensitive to not knowing what’s going on … wanting people to be upfront and not go behind my back. Lola was all over me when I just let go. She was the perfect horse for me.

I was reminded how I did yoga moves on a Gypsy Vanner named Dinah. The lessons were stronger boundaries, self-love, and the firm knowing that I am worthy and deserving of love. And I can stop giving my energy to those who hold their own self-interests above others — those who don’t deserve what I bring to the table.

What a sweet reminder to end the year. And what a wonderful organization to help lift the spirits of and give hope to those who have their own breast cancer stories.