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The good news: 4 months of chemo is over, the lumpectomy is over and the port has been removed. And my throat has finally settled down from the breathing tube. I just have some follow-up appointments and 5 weeks of radiation to get through. And Kali has been a GREAT cuddler and caretaker (except for those couple of times when she walked all over my incisions to get to the other side of me when I turned over). Also, my faith is bigger than my fear and the “C” in Christ is bigger than the “c” in cancer.

The bad news: I woke up this morning to about 10 more eyelashes on my cheek. About 3 determined lower lashes are hanging on each side while the top lashes continue to thin and the eyebrows are basically gone. I put up with losing the hair on my head (just got creative with scarves) and the fatigue and the nausea and neuropathy … but I’ve gotta say, the loss of my eyebrows and eyelashes has been hard. Chemo and surgery is over, but I’m now looking like the pale, hairless, sickly cancer patient more than ever. Hardly seems fair that the lashes and brows would go after getting through all the chemo. Someone at the horse program said it felt like losing her identity. I get that. Yeah … I know … “they grow back, Merri.” I suppose. But right now, it sucks.

I read I might get an inch of hair on my head in 2 months but the brows and lashes take a lot longer. And some women didn’t have their brows or lashes grow back at all. I could try false eyelashes, but they would just pull off what remains. Plus, despite chemo ending on Oct. 19th, the neuropathy remains. My face and tongue are actually numb! And since surgery, I’ve had a jabbing pain in my abdomen (nowhere near where they operated). Maybe it’s from all the coughing from the tubes. And I can’t get back in the water at CancerFit for a couple of weeks. The water was my favorite part of getting active again.

So, I guess it’s time to order those eyebrow templates. I have a follow-up with Dr. Norton on Monday, so if I’m still having pains in the abdomen, I can have her investigate. And I guess the key word is patience when it comes to the hair, lashes and brows. #cancersucks #chemosucks #brave